Jess Thoughts

Something happened today that I never expected, and I’m still not sure what to think about it. I keep replaying it, trying to make sense of it, but it doesn’t quite fit into anything I understand. I know I can be naïve about certain things. Traveling, seeing different cultures, meeting people from all over has shaped how I look at the world, but it hasn’t made me an expert. If anything, it’s made me more aware of how much I don’t know. I see things differently, and sometimes that makes me feel… out of place. I get confused more often than I care to admit, especially when people react to me like I’m supposed to respond in a certain “programmed” way and I don’t.

Usually, that doesn’t bother me much. People see the world through their own lens, shaped by their own experiences. But today felt different. This wasn’t just misunderstanding—it felt like something I wasn’t prepared for at all.

At work, down in the mail room, I’ve always felt a bit invisible. Just one person among many, all trying to find their place, all working toward something bigger. I haven’t been the most ambitious one there—I’m still figuring out what I want and where I’m going. I thought that kept me out of the spotlight.

Apparently, it doesn’t.

A coworker—I’ll call her Sue—came up to me today. She’s always been friendly, someone I’ve had casual conversations with before. She told me I always look good and that I could go far in the company. On the surface, it sounded like a compliment. It should have felt good. But something about it felt off. The way she said it. The way she looked at me. It wasn’t about my work, or anything I’ve done. Just… how I look.

Before I had time to process it, another coworker came up to me and asked what Sue had said. I told her. She muttered something under her breath, then stepped closer and put her finger against my chest. Not aggressively, but firmly enough to make me freeze. She told me to stay away from Sue. That if she saw me talking to her again, it wouldn’t be good for me.

I was completely caught off guard.

I didn’t even know how to respond. I just said I was sorry and nodded. I don’t even know what I was apologizing for. I walked away feeling shaken, trying to figure out what I had done wrong.

Later, I got a text from Sue asking if I wanted to meet her at a nearby pub. She said we needed to talk.

I didn’t respond.

Instead, I talked to one of the male coworkers I trust a bit more. I told him what happened and asked if he had any idea what was going on. He said Sue and the other woman are a couple, and that what I experienced sounded like jealousy.

Jealousy?

That didn’t make sense to me at all.

Then he added something else—that a lot of the women in the department have been talking about me. I asked him why. Why me? I’ve done nothing to draw attention to myself.

He said it’s because I don’t have a boyfriend. Or at least, they don’t believe I do.

I told him he knows I do.

He shrugged and said they don’t take it seriously because of the age difference. They think I’m just playing around, that it’s not real.

That part bothered me more than anything else.

Then he stopped himself and said he’d rather not get involved, that I should talk to one of the women instead.

So now I’m sitting here trying to process all of this.

I didn’t do anything.

I wasn’t flirting. I wasn’t encouraging anything. I was just… being myself.

And somehow that turned into this.

I don’t know what to do next.

Part of me wants to ignore it and pretend it never happened. Part of me feels like I should say something, but I don’t even know what that would be.

It all feels so… unnecessary.

And honestly—

ridiculous.