Jess Thoughts

Today ended up being one of those strange quiet days. It was cold and wet outside, the kind of weather that makes the whole world feel gray and heavy. Anna and I spent most of the day in my room avoiding the rain, talking, watching a little TV, and scrolling through X. I answered some of the endless group questions people post about the silliest things and wandered into conversations with strangers. Some of it was interesting, but a lot of it was ugly. I honestly didn’t realize how much anger lives out there. The hate, the propaganda, people shouting at each other like enemies. After a while it just felt exhausting to read. I finally tossed my phone aside and said “ugh.”

Daniel texted me during the afternoon, which wasn’t surprising. We messaged back and forth for a bit and eventually he asked if I would go out with him—just the two of us this time. Anna immediately started encouraging me to say yes. I still haven’t told her about Jaime. The truth is, I’m not even sure there’s anything to tell yet. For all I know we’re just friends, and part of me thinks Jaime might prefer that things stay quiet for now.

Daniel really isn’t someone I see long term. He’s a good guy though—almost like a brother. I know men hate hearing that. Being put in the “brother zone” is probably as bad as the friend zone. Still, I thought maybe I should give him a chance. I’m not actively looking for a relationship and my life isn’t on some schedule where I need to settle down tomorrow. So I told him we could get breakfast in the morning. He agreed immediately. Afterward I caught myself wondering why I had been the one deciding where and when we would go. Jaime never does that. Jaime just tells me what we’re doing.

By evening I thought maybe he had forgotten about me entirely. Then right around seven—apparently his regular hour—my phone rang. He apologized for the day getting away from him and said he’d pick me up at nine so we could go to Dave & Buster’s and grab something to eat. The difference between him and Daniel keeps surprising me. Daniel asks and waits. Jaime simply decides.

When I got ready tonight I decided to test him. I wanted to see if I could break that calm, controlled exterior of his and figure out whether there was any real interest there or if we truly were just friends. Curiosity won. I wore a crop top that didn’t hide much. Last year I did marketing work for a cosmetic surgeon’s office and they offered free augmentations in exchange for promotional photos. At the time it sounded like a great idea. What girl doesn’t think about bigger assets? And yes… I went a little bigger than planned. It’s funny how something like that changes how people see you. Blonde with big… well… people tend to assume things. Most of the time I dress in ways that avoid drawing attention to it.

Tonight I didn’t.

When I walked into the lobby Jaime was already there. I watched carefully for his reaction. He didn’t flinch. Or if he did, he hid it perfectly. No double take, no lingering stare, none of the usual reactions I’m used to seeing. Just a calm greeting before leading me out the door. Meanwhile other people in the lobby were definitely staring. I had been curious before. Now I was completely confused.

In the car we talked—or more accurately I talked and he listened. I did catch him once making a quick sideways glance, but honestly he may have just been checking the side mirror.

At Dave & Buster’s we played pool. I had men looking my way all night, which I expected. At one point I leaned over the table while Jaime took my picture just to see if I could force a reaction. Nothing. Completely composed. One guy even came over and tried to flirt with me, but I politely sent him away.

After the games we sat down to eat and that’s when I finally learned something important. He’s divorced. It’s been several years and he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He works a lot and has homes in different places. Through the entire conversation he never stared at me—not once. I was impressed… but also strangely disappointed. Maybe he really does just see me as a friend.

Then he asked about Daniel. I told him honestly what I thought about the situation. He listened carefully, but for the first time since I met him I sensed a slight shift in him. It was subtle, almost impossible to explain, but something in his expression changed. Until now he has seemed completely steady, like nothing rattles him.

On the drive back I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I asked him directly what his interest in me actually was. Why all this attention? Why the mornings, the evenings, the time together?

He was quiet for a moment before answering. He said he was older and that his interest was simply friendship. But by then I felt like I could read him a little better. I told him I liked spending time with him exactly the way we had been. I also told him something important about myself—that I don’t sleep with someone outside of marriage. It’s simply not something I do. If anything ever developed between us it would have to move slowly and respectfully. I also told him that his age didn’t bother me at all, and I hoped it didn’t bother him.

He looked at me for a long moment and then said quietly, “This is going to be complicated.”

Then he reached across and took my hand.

For a second I felt something I hadn’t expected—relief. Warm, steady, almost grounding. His hands were strong and calm, and suddenly the noise of the evening faded away.

He suggested we keep things between us for now. No reason to create gossip or become the talk of the company. I agreed. He also said that if at any point I wanted to end things I should just say so openly. I told him the same. I asked if it would be okay for me to meet Daniel for breakfast in the morning, as long as I made sure not to lead him on. Jaime said that would probably be a good idea.

When we got back to the hotel we stayed in the lobby talking until nearly three in the morning. I did most of the talking again while he listened, still holding my hands across the table.

When we finally decided it was time to sleep he walked me to the elevator. As the doors opened I stepped inside, thinking the night was over.

Instead he gently pulled me back for a moment…

and kissed me.